Published On: Thu, Aug 25th, 2022

Studio Ghibli’s Hottest Bachelors, Ranked

Howl and Sophie in Howl's Moving Castle.
Leave us alone, Sophie. He’s mine.

Everything that there has to be said about Studio Ghibli has been said before. We could endlessly debate the best and worst films, or could get granular and discuss how Kiki’s delivery service is actually a metaphor for burnout. But we’re not gonna do that today. Why not? Because I’m bored. I’m horny. And I’m sick of your “blah blah blah but which anime is the best?” bullshit. Right now, I don’t care about artistic integrity. I don’t give a shit about boring cinema jargon like nuance or tone or allegory. You know what I want? Sex. And so do you. Don’t lie to me. It’s the reason we watch anime. It’s the reason we watch T.V. in general. It’s the reason why I write these articles and put food in my face and money in my bank account. Because I wanna get laid. You want me to write about Studio Ghilbi? Fine. But we’re gonna do it my way. We’re not talking about what makes these movies good, we’re talking about what (or more specifically who) is sexy. Yeah, they’re animated. They’re also hot as f***. So, get ready to feel warm and tingly, because these are the hottest Studio Ghilbi characters of all time.


(image credit: studio ghibli)

Let’s face it, Ashitaka is a sex pot. He’s bold, he’s brave, he’s daring, and he does what he wants.

The Mary Sue

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