Dear Senator Rubio,

I’ve been your neighbor for some time now, and since the first day you’ve held office, you’ve had my undying appreciation. When you made that tweet propagating your unfounded claim that journalists were celebrating Covid-19 deaths in Florida, I got on The Facebook and made sure to send it all of the ladies in my book club. And when you posted that video of you ranting about Marxism while sitting in your car in the middle of nowhere, I made sure I memorized every word and repeated it verbatim to my husband the second he got home from work. You do so much good in this world, Marco. As a Karen myself, I admire your ability to focus in on issues that are pointless, ungrounded in reality, and to the general detriment of the American people. There is no one on Earth that can raise a stink over nothing quite like you Senator. The ladies and myself could all learn a thing or two from you. We’re all named Karen, by the way. It’s a bookclub for Karens only.

The Mary Sue